


Work Smarter, Not Harder

by MaxWrite



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-04-04
Updated: 2008-04-04
Packaged: 2017-10-18 14:43:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/189953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxWrite/pseuds/MaxWrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fred has a proposition for Angelina.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Work Smarter, Not Harder

Hunched over her homework at a table in the Great Hall, Angelina didn't notice anyone approach, but she smiled when she received a kiss on the cheek.

"Hello, Ange."

"Hi, Fred. How's your day so far?"

"Fine, thanks."

"How was yours?" asked a voice that was the slightest bit different from the first, and Angelina received a kiss on her other cheek. She frowned and looked up. It took her a moment, but she quickly realised that it was George she was looking at, not Fred. But she was certain the first voice had belonged to…

"I'm over here," said Fred. Angelina turned to her left and found Fred standing there. She looked from one twin to the other in confusion.

"I know what you're thinking:" said Fred as he and George took a seat on either side of her. "What's my handsome-as-hell brother doing kissing my bird, right?"

"Well… yeah."

Fred leaned his elbows against the edge of the table and clasped his hands together. "Ange, sweetheart, we have a proposition for you."

Angelina arched an eyebrow.

"You're a great girl and these past few weeks with you have been brilliant, really, but… Ange, darling… you're killing me."

Now both her eyebrows went up. "I'm sorry?"

"It's too much. You're a very complex woman, and I," Fred laid a hand on his own chest, "while magnificent to be sure, am but one man."

Angelina looked around at George, who only smiled serenely. "What are you on about?" she asked Fred.

"I propose that from now on, George and I split the work load."

"Work load? I'm a work load now?"

Fred held up a hand. "Now, now, don't misunderstand. You're a joy, darling, a true pleasure. But it's a lot of work keeping you happy. You can be a bit demanding."

She frowned. "Well, how else is anything supposed to get done properly? Left to their own devices, most blokes just muck everything up!"

"Oh, I agree wholeheartedly. We're a terribly disorganised lot, I'm afraid," Fred said ruefully. Angelina glanced over at George, who was mirroring his twin's look of regret and shaking his head. "And that's why my proposal is really to your advantage as well as my own. It splits the work in half for me, meaning you get the best of both of us."

Angelina looked at George again. "Is he joking?"

"No, he's quite serious," George said gently. He reached up and touched her shoulder. "I know this is a lot to take in at once. But believe me when I say that you really should give this some thought. I'm an excellent listener, I'm sensitive, and I can be a very gentle lover–"

Angelina covered her eyes with one hand. "Oh, my god."

"Not saying I can't rattle them bedposts when it's called for, of course–"

"Okay, stop right there," she said firmly, raising her head and pointing at George. "This is insane! Even for you two!"

"Hang on a minute," said Fred. "Think it through, love."

"No. Never in a million years!"

"Come on, hear me out. You know all that stuff you say that I don't pay attention to?"

"You mean my opinions?" she said flatly.

"Yeah, those. Well, George here is more than willing to pay attention when you get going. And you know when you ask me what I'm thinking and I grunt at you and shoo you away? Well, George actually answers questions like that."

"Fred," she sighed, "this isn't normal. I can't date both of you."

"Why not? It's not like anyone can tell us apart, anyway."

"Well, yes, but… a relationship is supposed to be between _two_ people. Any more than that and things get complicated. And you lose the intimacy."

"Ah! Speaking of which, George doesn't mind cuddling afterward."

She frowned and looked at George again, who held his arms open. "Need a hug?"

Angelina closed her eyes and touched a finger to her temple. "Fred, for the last time, when I say 'intimacy', I'm not necessarily talking about sex."

"You see? Right there! George would've remembered that. Me?" Fred shook his head and waved a hand dismissively. "Things like that make no sense to me."

"Okay," she said, taking a deep breath. "Let's _say_ I'm actually considering this. What exactly will _you_ do? So far, all I've heard is what George can do for me."

"Oh, I'll keep doing all the manly stuff; lifting heavy things and killing spiders, that sort of thing. Of course, some duties will be shared."

"Such as?"

"Well… you know," said Fred, wiggling his eyebrows. Then, more casually, he said, "We'll take turns, of course. Or you can flip a coin or something."

"Flip a…" She grimaced in disbelief.

"Hey, I'm not saying I can't handle you on my own, baby," Fred cooed in his smoothest, silkiest tone. "But, you know, George and I have always shared everything. What, you thought George was going to take over that entire department from now on?" Fred emitted a derisive snort.

"Because _that_ would be preposterous?" she said as she crossed her arms.

"Precisely."

"Uh-huh."

"So, to sum up, I'll keep being my usual charming and spontaneous self, while George here will handle the insightful and sensitive side of things that I normally make a mess of. Yes?"

Angelina stared at him in silent disbelief, her mouth hanging slightly open. She turned the same look on George. She then turned the look forward, across the Great Hall at nothing in particular. "This… is not happening," she muttered. She looked sidelong as Fred. "This is never going to happen, you know that, right?" But just then she felt a hand on her back.

"Do you need a minute, love?" asked George. "Can we get you something? Some toast? A biscuit? Some sort of flavoured tea."

"No, George, I'm fine."

"I may have neglected to mention," said Fred in low voice, leaning toward her, "that thing you like during sex, that thing I think is weird…" He pointed at his twin. "George will totally do that."

She stared at Fred. Then she looked at George, who was now nodding with a smug grin on his face. She looked back at Fred and murmured, "That should've been the first thing you said."

END


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